Real Ads          (Courtesy from Tex Texin's Home Page at: http://www.i18nguy.com/)

 

REAL ADS

Illiterate?  Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service.  Free pick-up and delivery.  Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child.  Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory.  Must be willing to travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Semi-annual After-Christmas sale. 8.3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Dinner special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For sale: Three canaries of undermined sex.
Great dames for sale.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Vacation special: have your home exterminated.
Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
For rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard to find person.
Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Wanted: Widower with school age children requires person assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
And now, the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unriveled inconventience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.  LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.  BETTER BE REWARD.
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything

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